Why small universities need to step up.

Today, I awoke from a dream feeling like I had been hit by a U-haul truck. In the dream, I was trying to take a hot bubble bath - one of my favourite ways to relax. But I couldn't even get into the water because floating at the surface were a ton of 10 uL pipette tips as if someone had taken one of those filter-tip boxes and just dumped it into the bathtub . Before I could get in, I had to fish each one individually out of the tub. Then, just as I had fished out the last of the pipette tips and was about to get in, I was interrupted by a banging at the door. I opened the door to see one of my old boyfriends standing, as always, like a peacock who thinks his tail is more magnificent than it really is. He looked awful (small mercies). The last time I saw this guy - he was pretty fit but now looking at him his face was all pudgy and red surrounded by this black, curly, ear-length hair. He didn't say anything then just disappeared. I closed the door and was met with yet another interruption. Needless to say I never got to relax.

This was one of the more straightforward dreams I have ever had and I'm totally aware that it is a metaphor for my current life. Normally my dreams are vivid and suspense-filled movies where I am chasing or being chased, searching for lost treasure, zipping in and through time, taking part in some major espionage, living in a concentration camp, the list goes on. Once, I was a big, black, male jazz singer and HippieHusband awoke to me shouting in a gravelly voice, "Bourbon, oh yeah bourbon." Geez, I've never tasted bourbon before in my life.

It's only when I'm truly stressed by the everyday that I have the tedious and highly mundane dreams. When I was in the deepest and darkest part of the Ph.D. thesis, I had a dream in which I stepped into a graphical representation of my data to examine each and every datapoint. Yawn!

Well, I think that HippieHusband's current work situation is interfering with my ability to relax and enjoy the holidays. It's funny because everyone that we spoke to in BigCity Canada about the situation all responded with the same answer, "You can't stay there." This statement got me thinking a lot about how hard it will be for this SmallUniversity or any small university to attract and keep smart, independent, hard-working, and productive post-docs.

If the supervisor within a small university can't offer a working environment that is fun, stimulating, and most of all respectful (quitting a collaboration and firing your post-doc from the lab is just not respectful), then really why would anyone in their right mind stay?

What exactly does SmallUniversity in SmallTown America have to offer? There is little intellectual stimulation from within department because a) there are few journal clubs of note, b) the labs are small c) few invited seminars by cutting edge colleagues, and d) even fewer post-docs outside your lab. Outside the university environment, in the SmallTown there isn't a whole lot to do. Unlike BigCity, if all hell breaks out with your supervisor at SmallUniversity in SmallTown, you can't retreat to that yoga class, or go to that alternative cinema, or find theatre to attend, or de-stress at a concert, or go and take an art class at the art school, or eat wonderful food at great restaurants, or just hang out with friends in really cool places.

If you work at BigUniversity in BigCity, then as a supervisor you can be an asshole to your postdoc and probably get away with it. Why? The post-doc will probably stay because if you are a supervisor are at a BigUniversity then you are probably hot shit and can offer that post-doc something more - I call it the "by association." Plus the post-doc has colleagues and resources outside the lab that allow for intellectual stimulation. And finally, they get to live in BigCity X with all of its cultural activities and a myriad of restaurants.

So I believe the SmallUniversity tenured faculty have to STEP-UP when they learn that a post-doc is being mistreated and bullied. They need to advocate for their postdocs. And yes, I purposefully say "their" post-docs. Even though the post-doc is not directly in their lab, the presence of this post-doc contributes to the overall intellectual attractiveness of the university - making it a place that new Ph.D students might want to go. They can provide knowledge and advise to Ph.D. students not just in their own lab but to those students in the department. They are potential collaborators and colleagues. They are the ones to start those journal clubs that enrich the intellectual life of the school. The postdoc carries the weight and expertise of a faculty member in small labs where there are no lab technicians. And ultimately, they produce the papers that allow the faculty in the department to look good and get grants.

So if you think that the biggest attraction to the department offers a work-life balance or how inter-disciplinary collaborations at the university make it an exciting place to work - think again.

People don't quit environments they quit their bosses.