Oh Canada.

This is why returning to Canada is no longer like returning to the land of the sane.

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Have you ever noticed that the BBQ utensils look like weapons? Is this why guys love to BBQ?

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To the dude obsessed with a cologne that smells like cheap-car-salesman-who-wears-vinyl-trousers:

I appreciate that desperate times, and in your case (what has been 5 years?) call for desperate measures. But this cologne that you've chosen to shower with has led to the following events:

1. Our undergrad looses her vision when she walks out into the hallway to use the autoclave. And I’m not sure her health insurance covers disability due to second hand cologne.

2. The lab technician can’t stop sneezing after you’ve walked by our doorway which leads to severe contamination in her experiments.

3. My eyes water for 5 minutes and I can't breathe. I've spent enough time in hospitals over the last year and don't want to return to the emergency.

4. A PhD student who has just given birth to the loveliest little boy is still nursing and is worried about her milk becoming toxic.

5. The Biology secretary complained that the hallway where our lab is, smells like methane gas and has decided to call Health and Safety. This means that if they come and shut us down, we will lose all the experiments that were started this morning.

Unfortunately as attached as you are to the cheap-car-salesman-who-dresses-in-vinyl-trousers cologne, it lingers hours after you've walked down the hall. And as we have no windows either in the lab or in my office, we are trapped.

The cologne overpowers incense. And fans simply make the smell waft into the lab.

As I've said before desperate times...so if need be, the next time you decide to saunter down the hallway, be prepared to be ambushed by those who will make you use the emergency shower station that sits outside our doorway. With of course our sincerest of apologies but we thought you had spilled chemicals on yourself and that's why there were such fumes.


Regards,

Girlpostdoc