Boundaries and academic divorce

I was sitting in a cafe this afternoon, working on a manuscript, and as is always the case in SmallTown, I ran into someone I knew. This faculty member was trying to resolve a dilemma of his own making. That, coupled with the fact HippieHusband and I are leaving SmallUniversity in two weeks, led me to think about boundaries.

But first, a story.

Mr.Enthusiasm is a good guy deep down but unfortunately, he handled a situation with a postdoc badly. The behavior of another faculty member (The Godfather), involved in the collaboration, created such tremendous difficulties that the postdoc eventually quit to save his sanity. It was Mr.Enthusiasm's lack of advocacy for the postdoc and interest in the project that was a supervisory fail.

Aside: TheGodfather, is known to be, I could say it diplomatically, but fuck diplomacy, an asshole. He's not just any asshole, TheGodfather is, a gigantic puss-filled sore, whose scientific incompetency creates an ego of fantastic proportions that all he can muster at meetings is a temper tantrum or a long drawn out pontification. Of course, this creates a diversion so that no one will realize he has no scientific prowess. Sadly, his colleagues call this his personal style.

Before the postdoc quit, he handed over all the curated data (a dataset with >40,000 data points), a manuscript, and all his lab notebooks clearly annotated to Mr.Enthusiasm. This was probably back in June.

Since that time, Mr.Enthusiasm sent several emails asking about the status of the manuscript. The emails consisted of single line, "Where's the manuscript?" If I were the postdoc that had quit amidst such circumstances, I would read this email as well, self-serving. And like the postdoc, I wouldn't have replied.

Now, sitting opposite me was a man looking rather lost, sad, and slightly confused. I felt a great deal of compassion for his situation. But it was his road to walk and as we were talking I swore I wouldn't get involved.

Unfortunately, Mr.Enthusiasm asked for my advice.

And yes, I couldn't keep her shut.

So I told Mr.Enthusiasm as gently as I could that those emails he sent showed that he was only interested in what he could get out of the postdoc, not how he could better serve the postdoc. And really wasn't this reason for the supervisory fail in the first place. Secondly, I said, to Mr.Enthusiasm, "You never asked how the guy was doing after everything that happened. Why?"

Mr.Enthusiasm admitted that TheGodfather had been pressuring him and so he was passing it along.

"Yes. That's the problem though. I don't think you've been honest. And this has meant you've lost the postdoc's trust."

"It was hard to hear that I failed the postdoc, and it's so hard to hear that I'm continuing to fail him." said Mr. Enthusiasm quietly.

"Well then show that you genuinely care for this postdoc."

"I do."

I continued, "As for the paper, you've never asked the guy if he has no problem with you working on it."

Mr.Enthusiasm nodded and said something about how publishing was important to a postdoc.

I laughed. "How do you know that this postdoc even wants a career in academia? Because there are careers outside academia that don't require individuals to publish or perish."

"That's true," replied, Mr.Enthusiasm.

The story of Mr.Enthusiasm and the postdoc is one that underscores the sometimes dashed lines that exist between a supervisor-student or a supervisor-postdoc after the student or postdoc leaves, especially when there are manuscripts involved. The question it raises is, what is the role of a postdoc once s/he finishes working for a supervisor? What is the role of the supervisor once the postdoc finishes working for him or her?

From the above scenario, it is clear that the nature of the line depends on the circumstances under which an individual leaves the lab and their investment. In my mind, there are no obligations from either the postdoc or the supervisor after the relationship is terminated. The complications come when the individuals involved are interested or invested in either projects or careers.

So I think of the dissolution of the supervisor-postdoc relationship as a divorce. The reasons are varied. Sometimes it's amicable and sometimes not. Very often kids (unfinished manuscripts) are involved.

Below are the stories of marriage and divorce. It's not complete so if you can think of others - please do tell! I use the term marriage loosely, but it include same-sex relationships.

Everyone knew it would end badly. They just didn't seem right for each other. And well, there was the bickering and bad science. A nasty divorce. No kids (likely the cause). At parties, neither the postdoc nor the supervisor acknowledge that they ever slept together.

They tried. It didn't work. And it ended in a bad divorce. Although there is a kid, the extent of the postdoc's involvement in the kid's life is to get the occasional facebook update in their newsfeed.

It was one of those on again off again relationships. Things are fantastic for a month or two, but then the supervisor shuts down. The conversations become shallower and shallower until the supervisor just disappears. Tired, the postdoc decides to leave. Although it was a bad divorce, the parties are still talking because there is a kid, but it requires some mediation. The postdoc is willing to participate in some of the decisions required in the raising of the kid, but won't contribute any further support in terms of hard cash.

They used to be so happy together, but somehow over the years they drifted apart. The fun-filled romantic beginnings eventually gave way to the realities of PCR contamination, lab budgets, data management, constant revisions, errant undergrads, teaching loads, committee meetings. Divorce was inevitable but amicable. The kids are almost full-grown and so both the postdoc and supervisor want to see the kids leave the nest.

To their friends they had a perfect marriage. Only the postdoc and supervisor knew the truth. It started off as a little flirtation, but then he fooled around with the best friend. When confronted, insert postdoc/supervisor said he didn’t think we were officially ‘together,’ so it wasn’t cheating. One third of all marriages will experience marital infidelity (who knew?). The postdoc found a new supervisor? Or maybe the supervisor had a new postdoc in mind? Initially a nasty divorce, but eventually all parties involved realized that this would just hurt the kids. And both loved their kids.

The supervisor lost their grant(s). This led to chronic stress in the marriage because there was not enough funding to cover research and salaries. Such chronic stress over long periods led to a diminished scientific desire. Financial stress is the leading cause of divorce in America. No kids.

The relationship hasn't ended, but it should have 6 years ago. The kids have all grown up and left home. Now there are just two lonely old people, one holding a pipettor and the other made prisoner by rows of Erlenmeyer flasks, staring at each other through plexiglass in the lab. Who are you again?

Two people, succeeded in having an award-winning relationship. Lots of kids all grown up. Divorce amicable. Now they all vacation together with their new partners.

Which one are you?