As I was leaving this high school friend's birthday party I mentioned where and what I was going to be doing. She looked at me with such disgust, dangled her charm bracelet with high-paying job, husband, and mortgage in my face and asked "When are you going to grow up and get a real job?"
It's even more painful to think back on my weak reply of, "Money isn't everything, I'm following my dream."
Groan. Are you really for real? If I could go back, I give me a good smack on the back of the head and tell me to "Stop being so bloody naive. Wake up stupid. Grad school is not a dream, it's a nightmare that doesn't stop."
You should really read the whole article but in case you can't, here's the meat. My favourite is the last one.
It may be helpful to explore how we scientists arrived at our careers, starting from the beginning. Here, then, are the thoughts of a developing scientist throughout the education process, along with the science questions explored at each age:
A scientist in preschool: Yet again, the triangle-shaped block fits into the triangle-shaped hole. Fascinating. Analysis will likely reveal statistical significance regarding this fact, but first I should further explore the block's properties by attempting to eat it.
Science questions explored: How are plants different from animals? What are the parts of the body? How does food become solid waste? Which other child has a head made out of solid waste? What rhyming chants should accompany such an accusation?
A scientist in elementary school: This week, a man came to our school and talked about science. He wore a white coat, brought lots of gadgets, and made things explode and freeze. He must be the coolest man in the world! How does he know so much? I'll bet he has tons of friends. When I grow up, I want to be just like him, except maybe not with that weird moustache.
Science questions explored: How do tadpoles develop into frogs? How do butterflies -- hmm, it looks like we should go back to the tadpole-frog thing for another few weeks because you kids don't seem to be getting it. Ok, the tadpole -- can we pay attention, please? Eyes up front. Could we please stop throwing the tadpoles? I'll wait.
A scientist in middle school: Some of my classmates seem to have gotten large and confident very quickly. And the kids with the most friends are the ones who think science is lame. But I want friends. And I don't think science is lame. Ah, the eternal question: WWDHD? ("What would Don Herbert do?")1
Science questions explored: What is the difference between "weight" and "mass," and why won't you understand it no matter how many times it's explained? What is static electricity, and why won't you understand it no matter how many times it's explained? What is a hypothesis, and why won't you understand it no matter how many times it's explained?
A scientist in high school: The kids who beat me up last year are gone. They're off working or smoking things or being pregnant, while I get to take AP physics and learn how far a cube would travel up a frictionless incline when propelled by a spring. Important stuff! Hey, I even joined the Science Club, which seems to exist only to assure us that we socially rank above the Math Club. Except that most of us are also in the Math Club.
Science questions explored: How did human beings evolve? Just kidding. Your parents would kill me if I taught that. Let's just draw some more Lewis dot structures.
A scientist in college: Actual science researchers are teaching me actual science, and I get to take actual lab classes and wear actual goggles! Now I'm finally doing real experiments asking real questions -- provided those questions can be answered using scientific equipment from 1978. (Incidentally, that's a neat volumetric flask. Oh, I see, it holds 500 mL of water. I wonder whether that means it'll hold 500 mL of beer. Go science!)
Science questions explored: Why is Orgo at 8:00 a.m.?
A scientist in grad school: Uh ... uh-oh. I thought I knew what science was, but I was dead wrong. Apparently "science" means "work," and in grad school, it means "work for which I'm scarcely paid." Hello, high school acquaintance at my 10-year reunion! Oh, you work in finance? Neat. Wait, you have how many houses? Wait, your spouse is how hot? Me? Well, unlike you, I'm smart. So I work 14-hour days and make $15,000 a year. Because I'm smart. Stop laughing.
Science questions explored: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???????????
Postdoctoral fellowship: Seriously? I survived 7 years of grad school, and I'm still not a scientist?
Science questions explored: Seriously?
5 comments:
Seriously? ^^
Thanks for the link to the article. I too remember the "not everything is about money" - and sure enough it isn't, but it doesn't hurt either...
Yes. I agree. Money does matter. It's only after living like a student for a decade that you get tired of the stupidity.
Do people really say things like that to you??! I've never once had anyone look down on me for being a postdoc or when I was in grad school. In fact, just the opposite. Everyone always seems to be unduly impressed that I have a PhD!
Thanks for the link by the way, very funny!
Very funny article but really would you want to be some beach with so little sense and taste as to say that (and to wear a charm bracelet as an adult!)? Money would be nice no arguing there but interacting with people like that makes me love the weird science geeks I get to hang out with even more.
@missphd
Yup. Now when people ask, I say I'm a scientist.
@anon
hence the fact that we somehow lost contact.
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